The Ventilation Shafts

For when you're having a less-than-SMASHING day and need to blow off some steam. I'll start, eh wot?

So, I have improv practice. I leave around 6:15 to get my sister from soccer. I end up waiting for AN HOUR AND A HALF, ONLY TO FIND OUT WHEN I GET HOME THAT IT'S ALREADY BEEN TAKEN CARE OF!

GRAH.

You know what really pisses me off?
CALCULUS

SPECIFICALLY INTEGRAL CALCULUS.


AND IT WILL BE 100% MOOT IN THIS CAREER!!
UGH.

and people who don't read the rules and complain that they don't understand
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PHOENIX!?

I HAVE TO USE A BLEACH KIT

Those of you in skypechat know that I pick my teeth with the varios knives I have.

BLEACH + MOUTH CUT = INTENSE PAIN.

Stahlen wat r u doing
Stahlen stahp

I think we should changr this to a ventilation for both bad and good moments.

So I was with my extended family yesterday for Greek Easter. At the end of it all, only the older kids were left, and they all decided to play Truth or Truth, which is exactly what it sounds.

Apparently I'm the weird cousin for having a girlfriend that I'm serious about and having never cheated on her.

It seriously took me the entire night to wrap my head around some of the stuff they said.

Leo E. wrote:Apparently I'm the weird cousin for having a girlfriend that I'm serious about and having never cheated on her.

You sick fuck I bet you hold hands with her too.

spplmj wrote:

Leo E. wrote:Apparently I'm the weird cousin for having a girlfriend that I'm serious about and having never cheated on her.

You sick fuck I bet you hold hands with her too.

SICK MODS BAN THIS FILTH.

BUT HE IS A MOD!

[LEO WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST]

I spent two hours last night screaming about tables, and my friends got mad at me for screaming about tables.


and I just absofuckingloutly bombed my Calculus finals.
Today has been a bad week.

Leo E. wrote:Apparently I'm the weird cousin for having a girlfriend that I'm serious about and having never cheated on her.

Why did I hire this man? WHY DID I HIRE THIS MAN!? 'CUZ HE'S A FUCKING NICE GUY.
Leo, you have restored my faith in humanity.

Wow, time to vent this day and what a vent this will be. (Mind you this is relevant to the events of today and today only)

MARK, YOU WORTHLESS SHIT, DO NOT PISS ALL OVER THE FUCKING BATHROOM FLOOR AND TOILET SEATS. IT IS BEYOND UN-FUCKING-COOL AND IF YOU EVER DARE PULL THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN IM SHOVING A GOD DAMNED HALBERD DOWN YOUR THROAT. HELL I MIGHT DO IT ANYWAYS, THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING.

Also, screw you college recruiters, at least the military recruiters have the decency to offer a paying job rather than a tremendous fucking debt and don't literally stalk me. Leave me the hell alone already.

No, I do not want to work in a cubicle doing paper work for a production floor when I can be doing actual work and making actual valuable products. I don't care if it pays higher, when I look for a manufacturing job its because I want to manufacture things, and me being good at math doesn't change that.

Not madpost, but sadpost:

Near the end of my paper route, there's a house with cute little kittens. Today, as I'm pulling out of the driveway, I spot a recognizable object on the road:

Their mother.

MENTLE, EVEN YOU CAN'T NOT CRY OVER THAT.

Step 1.)
Hand paper in to English teacher a day early so you don't have to keep up with it
Step 2.)
Have him lose it, blame me, say he never had it
Step 3.)
At the same time, have the computer submission for a math project go bad, giving me a total score of 126/200 for that class
Step 4.)
Have them both tell my mom I didn't turn it in, then tell her I'm "smart enough to teach the class myself and if I would just turn my stuff in I'd get an easy A"

NO THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY, FUCK YOU

If you are having trouble staying in your lane
on the busiest street in the city
during rush hour traffic
because you are READING A GOD DAMN NEWSPAPER,
please inform me where you live, so I may jam your car keys down your throat, because you are clearly too stupid to own a vehicle.

Funny enough, I was supposed to be home two hours ago but traffic due to stupidity and constantly getting lost was my problem, except I wasn't the one driving.

I was just a victim of the matriarchy.

My car insurance quote was essentially an extra 25% because I'm a guy.

The sexism needs to stop, everyone.

So this is for ventilation, right? Right.

Okay well I watched a walkthrough of Gone Home today. I tried torrenting it and playing it myself but apparently my computer is too dumb to run it even as I put graphical settings on lowest.

I should also mention something hilarious: I thought there would be more to this game than point and click because in the options there was something for "controls" but all it did was show you about five different options for mouse sensitivity.

Anywhosits watched a walkthrough on Youtube.

Can I just say Phoenix's casual friend needs to die? He seriously thought this tripe was better than Bayonetta and that it WASN'T an interactive movie when all it does is have you move around, and click stuff.

You should also be aware this whole thing is told in a narrative style as if it was taken off some random lesbian's Tumblr blog. Of all the things they chose to want to be realistic on it had to be that. It's grating.

So the thing is set in 1995 and it tells the story of a girl growing up and realizing her sexuality. It starts off with "I knew this one boy who I hung out with because he had a Nintendo but I didn't like him." Because it turns out she's a beta retard.

Then it turns to "but then I saw this one girl who would dress all punk and military sometimes and would draw and look intense whenever she drew something I felt like I had to know her. But I'm an idiot and I can't approach her despite her unbelievably odd demeanor and just strike up a conversation until I found out she played Street Fighter with her friends at 7-11."

So then that evolves to "then we went out one night and found out we're actually lesbians."

Which leads to "but it's the 80s right now so my parents are in denial life is 2hard4me"

Which THEN leads to "so eventually my lesbian lover girlfriend becomes a singer for one of my other friends' bands and it turns out she's amazing at singing even though the tapes and soundtrack for this "game" would imply otherwise like holy crap can you sing without having an annoying crack when you reach high notes please and thank you."

And somewhere between the two prior events was "but it turns out she's going to the military so I'm gonna spend as much time with her as possible before then. I don't know why she wants to go to the military, I literally tell the player I guess she's always just wanted to do it! I mean yeah I logically want her to stay BUT TALKING ABOUT IT PFF NAAHHH I'M JUST GONNA LET HER GO AND MAKE US BOTH FEEL MISERABLE!"

Oh and the boy with the Nintendo situation resolves with "I haven't seen him in years cause I always thought he was a creep but muh lesbian lovurr is going away and I feel sad and he comforted me so I think he's okay now."

And the big ending is "but it turns out Lonnie can't stay in the military anymore because she misses me so we ran away somewhere."

That's it.

That's literally the entirety of that plot told in about one hour and 30 minutes, not counting the fact you can LITERALLY BEAT THIS "GAME" IN THE FIRST 40 SECONDS.

OKAY CAN I JUST STATE HOW ANALLY INFURIATED I AM THAT THIS GOT A 10 RATING FROM A COPIOUS NUMBER OF REVIEW SITES.
THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY GOING FOR 20 DOLLARS ON STEAM WHEN TO THE MOON IS GOING FOR 10.
THAT THIS PRETENTIOUS TUMBLR TIER SOCIAL JUSTICE INDIE GAME IS GETTING SO MUCH RECOGNITION FOR A STORY THAT HAS OBVIOUS PLOT HOLES AND TRIES IN A REALLY PRETENTIOUS MANNER.

HOW DID SAM RUN AWAY WITH LONNIE WHEN LONNIE WAS IN THE MILITARY. THAT'S DESERTION. YOU WOULD GET CONVICTED HEAVILY FOR THAT.
WHERE DID THEY EVEN RUN AWAY TO. THEY SAID THEY'D FIND SOMEPLACE FOR THEMSELVES BUT THAT'S AN OBVIOUSLY RETARDED ENDING, WHICH ACTUALLY ONLY FITS THE RETARDED STORY. THAT RUNNING AWAY IDEA ISN'T GOING TO WORK.
WHY DIDN'T SAM JUST ASK LONNIE ABOUT WHY SHE -HAD- TO GO TO THE MILITARY. SHE LITERALLY JUST SAYS "I GUESS SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT WHEN SHE WAS LIKE 12 OR SOMETHING". REALLY? THAT'S YOUR -BIG- REASON? YOU CAN'T ASK YOUR FRIGGIN LOVER WHAT'S SUCH A BIG DEAL THAT SHE HAS TO RISK HER LIFE AS OPPOSED TO STAY AND BE HAPPY?
WHAT WAS EVEN THE POINT OF SAM'S CREEPY CHILDHOOD FRIEND WHO SHE NEVER LIKED. HE LITERALLY DOES NOTHING EXCEPT BE A PLOT DEVICE FOR "LOL JK I'M AN OKAY GUY NOW IT TURNS OUT ONLY WHEN I CATER TO THE RESULT OF YOUR EMOTIONS ROYALLY REAR-RAPING ANY SEMBLANCE OF DIGNIFIED THOUGHT YOU COULD HAVE USED TO GET OUT OF THIS."
WHY DID SAM LEAVE THE TAPES ALL OVER HER HOUSE FOR HER SISTER TO FIND JUST SO SHE COULD FIND OUT THAT SHE RAN AWAY WITH LONNIE INSTEAD OF ONE LOCATION IF SHE REALLY LOVED HER SISTER.
AND HOW DID LONNIE EVEN MANAGE TO DESERT THE MILITARY IN THE MIDDLE OF SALEM JUST LIKE THAT, THAT'S NOT HOW WARFARE WORKS.

THIS GOT PERFECT REVIEWS FROM MASSIVE GAME SITES
THIS GOT PRAISE FROM THE MASSES THAT BOUGHT THIS FOR. 20. DOLLARS.
AND THERE IS SOMEONE ON THIS FORUM
WHO WILLINGLY IS CONNECTED TO A GUY
THAT THINKS THIS IS ACTUALLY A GAME AND HATES IT WHEN IT'S CALLED AN INTERACTIVE MOVIE WHEN THAT IS PRE-CISE-LY WHAT ON THIS DICTIONARY-DEFINITION-FORSAKEN EARTH IT IS

AND ACTUALLY

BELIEVES

IT'S

BETTER

THAN

BAYONETTA

WOW GEE, TOUCH AND FLIP OVER EVERY PIECE OF FURNITURE IN THE HOUSE SIMULATOR JUST TO LISTEN TO A BAD STORY FOR 20 DOLLARS IS A MUCH BETTER GAME THAN ONE OF THE HIGHEST REGARDED TITLES CREATED BY HIDEKI KAMIYA AND DEVELOPED BY PLATINUM GAMES INC.

THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH HUMANITY. THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE GAMING INDUSTRY. I AM FUMING WITH IMMENSE HATRED.

IF THE WORLD COULD TAP INTO MY RAGE AS A POWER SOURCE, A THIRD WORLD WAR WOULD BE STARTED OVER ME.

That is all~

P.S.: Phonics get better friends

He already has better friends.
He has us~

Three things:

Alpar wrote:"I knew this one boy who I hung out with because he had a Nintendo but I didn't like him." Because it turns out she's a beta retard.

Then it turns to "but then I saw this one girl who would dress all punk and military sometimes and would draw and look intense whenever she drew something I felt like I had to know her.

1) sounds like a bad fanfiction

Alpar wrote:WOW GEE, TOUCH AND FLIP OVER EVERY PIECE OF FURNITURE IN THE HOUSE SIMULATOR

2) Trunks would love this

3):

OrionX wrote:If you are having trouble staying in your lane

I was kind of hoping this was going to be a League story.

Leo E. wrote:I was just a victim of the matriarchy.

My car insurance quote was essentially an extra 25% because I'm a guy.

The sexism needs to stop, everyone.

Relevant:

Leo E. wrote:I was just a victim of the matriarchy.

My car insurance quote was essentially an extra 25% because I'm a guy.

The sexism needs to stop, everyone.

That goes away once you're 25 I think. It does in Kentucky, anyways


>Work co-op all week
>Have ~60 left in account
>Looking forward to getting paid since I'm going bowling with qt3.14 tonight
>"Oh sorry Aboi they don't have our checks this week you'll get paid for two weeks next Friday"
>Fill up truck and now I have to make ~30 last a week, probably 10 after bowling with qt

Also part of my point is that I don't even identify as a guy anymore. So I should totally sue them for being so cis.

Waitwhatreally?

I think he's exaggerating.