The RP Thread EX: A nameless voyage

[DA]

"A laptop."
"..."
"...what's the holdup, miss?"
"...really? A laptop computer?"
"What's wrong? It's the perfect vessel for unsuspecting fools."
"だから？ I wanted something that's at least fashionable!"
"Your altitudeness, please! Understand that its design is made so these spaghetti-filled inferior beings can get hooked into it without them thinking twice about this hook."
"うるさい！ You've failed me again, Kino! This is utterly preposterous and completely uncool! Maybe this whip will help you redefine its design into something more--"
"DIAN. STOP."
"..."
"You're well aware you're not in charge of this project, mon cheri."
"。。。やれやれ。。。 but just look at how hideous that laptop looks, Civant!"
"Sapristi, Dian! Would you cut the crap already!? I AM THE ONE IN CHARGE OF THIS PROJECT! You go back to focusing on the T.B. department and managing those ANV-Cards."
"。。。くそ。"
"And don't jabber me in a foreign tongue! Je peux le faire aussi."
"..."
"Th-thanks for saving my skin, boat-ray Altesse."
"You're not free either. We still have to fix some gripes with the current neural access interface on that laptop. Allez, show me what you've done so far."
"Right, boat-ray Altesse"
"Also, it's pronounced votre."
"I can't do french at all."
"Very well. 'Sir' will do fine."
"Thank you v-very much, sir."

Many months later, out of the blue, a new, indie MMORPG has been announced by a new studio called Jarotammy to be completely free-to-play on PC. The game was "A Nameless Voyage".
It has everything you'd ever want. Guilds, swords, guns, giant mecha, monster folk, furries, PvP, PvE, a fully customizable character, divergent class evolution, time travel, every gender imaginable, achievements, Devil May Cry 4 gameplay with a hint of Wonderful 101 thanks to its co-op MMO roots, Artificial Life raising like in Chao Gardens, many minigames, an ARG, a choice between stealth or pure action, an intuitive control scheme, copious fanservice, and so on and so on. It is pretty much the perfect game. Kotaku gave it a "Don't play it", because it had way too many genders and that's offensive. IGN gave it a 10/10 stating that it was "Okay". The Siliconera staff praised it with flying colors for its over-the-top action. Famitsu gave it a 50/40 saying that they're sorry for being to lenient on their previous scores. Hideo Kojima attempted suicide after hearing that his dream game was already made, and stayed 2 weeks in a hospital bed. He's alright now. /v/ and tumblr finally reached peace after seeing that one's demmands can coexist with the others (their bickering ensued immediately afterwards once Anon #9805488888's quints called a tumblr user "a faget"). Hideki Kamiya stated that he only wished that his computer was powerful enough to run it at max settings, because he thought it was a disgrace to not play a game the way the developers intended.
And apparently, that last one was the main gripe for everyone else. The game was too awesome that it wasn't powerful enough to run it on conventional PC's. Not even PC Gamer Magazine's Large Pixel Collider could run it at constant 60 FPS.
To remedy this, Jarotammy teamed up with a rather small and obscure Korean hardware manufacturer to produce the perfect gaming laptop with A Nameless Voyage already pre-installed. It also has more than enough space to install your entire steam library and more than enough processing power and memory to run Borderlands 2 and A Nameless Voyage at the same time at max settings at a constant 60 FPS (of course, the laptop had to be plugged in for it to do that. Otherwise it just freeze). Not only that, it came with $500 worth of DLC already preinstalled, all for the low price of $599 US dollars. It was an immediate win-win situation for the every day PC mustard race vidya player, so these laptops sold like hotcake.
You yourself actually saved all your college money for it when the announcement came. You worked extra to gain enough dosh and you dropped school entirely to get some extra cash for addons and things to make yourself the ultimate pay2win master (even though there really wasn't any p2w elements to begin with).
At long last, you have in your hands the Tammybook, and enough cash to maintain your ingame social status to the top!

You plug it in, open the laptop and start playing! Heck, the thing even has some metallic things on the armrests that massage your wrists to prevent carpal tunnel! That's comfy!


Years pass, and A Nameless Voyage is still the #1 MMO out there, managing to make even Blizzard go bankrupt. You're still on the top percantage of players out there, and you've already spent ten times the amount of money the Playboy Mansion with all its cuties is worth. You've managed to do that thanks to the ANV-ID's (the game's user account system) weekly discounts and constant selling of old equipment.
Unfortunately, with these discounts, you forgot to read the fine print. The one that said that these would later have to be repaid in actual cash 2 years later or with manual labor at the Jarotammy offices in Nohnekchsistan. In one of your Mountain Dew-fueled gaming sessions, two men in black escort you and your laptop into a black car (and by escort, I mean "mercilessly drag you"), as your screams for help are heavily muffled by a chlorophorm rag.

You wake up inside the car, with the two men sitting to each of your sides. In front of you is a man of rather small stature. The lighting on the car makes it impossible for you to tell how he looks like, but you can tell that he is wearing a cloak, has a cane, and a rather fancy hat.

Wh-who are you!? Where am I!? Why am I here!? you belt out
"Who am I is not of your concern at all, scricciolo." the man said with an umistakable Italian accent "What is important is that you hafta pay for everything that you've been using willy nilly on your ANV-ID."
W-w-w-what!? Is this about the MMO? you hesitate for a bit before your train of thought changes gears. But I only used my hard earned cash and all the discounts you offered me!
"*sigh* Questo ritardo non ha letto le lettere minuscole. It's all in the fine print!"
He shows you the Terms of Service of ANV and the ANV-ID program, with the points he's trying to make conveniently highlighted.
What the fuck! That's preposterous! You can't do that, that's against the law!
"Not in Nohnekchsistan it's not. You agreed to this."
But normal people don't even read the TOS!
"Not my problem."
...but... that means a lot of people have been taken over by you!!
"Again, not my problem."
You motherfucker!
"No kid. This is business. Business is money. And I've only had intercourse with my piuttosto madre once."
You feel the car stop.
"We're here." he said as he takes out a phone from one of his pockets and takes it to what you think is his mouth... or his ear... you can barely see a thing.
"Boy ... sì è Eulalio. ...sì la password è 'Mago di Oz'. ...Vuoi dire che non posso entrare, eh!? Sì conoscete me! Che è l'unico fottuto italiano qui! Ora lasciami in, io porto la nuova recluta."
You hear a heavy mechanism-like noise outside, as the car moves forward a bit
"My men will escort you to your cube, scricciolo. You will follow the instructions pasted on your left wall. And please, do not speak at all. My men have just moistened their hands, and they don't want your nose blood on their hands, capice?"
The car finally stops, and you are escorted out. You notice that you are inside a humongous concrete tunnel, that stretches far behind you by millions upon millions of yards. In front of you is a large wall, ending the tunnel, with one small, metallic door in it. The two men open the door for you and you are pushed inside. What you see is a completely black room. By that, I mean that the floor tile, wall and ceiling are completely black. It's like you're stepping into a void... or, more precisely, a call-center's worst nightmare...
Millions upon millions of office cubes are arranged in a way that they surround the entire place, with a spiral staircase in the middle of the area. It seems to extend waaay above you. In each cube, there is a sickly, pale looking young adult like you. Men, women, sitting in front of their Tammybooks, clicking away mindlessly at what seems like spreadsheets.
You hear the door open again behind you. Another pair of men in black are dragging a rather portly kid along. As soon as he sees the place he's in, he immediately begins to shout in fear. One of the two men decides to backhand the kid, shutting him up.
"Your place... is upstairs." says one of the two men escorting you.
You start climbing what seems like an endless flight of stairs, going floor after floor after floor. In each floor, you see an extremely similar scenario. Young adults like you, clicking their lives away...
You stop at the 7th floor... at least, you think it's the 7th floor. You've lost count. The men finally escort you to a cube labeled "8.7006-B" and gesture you to sit down.
"No talking, no thinking, no leaving. Only do what you're told, or else you don't get food." says one of the two men, as they both leave you to your cube. You place the computer on the table, and it automatically starts charging. It seems that the table has NFC capabilities and works as a surrogate charger. You look at the left side of the wall. There's a poster that says
"WHAT TO DO:
1) Turn on your Tammybook
2) Log in to your ANV-ID
3) Confirm settings
4) Follow the on-screen instructions"
You proceed to turn on your Tammybook and you're immediately greeted to A Nameless Voyage's ANV-ID log-in screen.
"What's this!? D-do we have to play!?" you think to yourself, as you nervously type in your ANV-ID and password.
You are then taken to a stripped down version of the character creator, showcasing the character you've been using all this time. You are endlessly confused at this, as a pop-up prompt appears that says "Please review your character profile. If there is something that needs changing, double click to edit it. Please note that all items bought with ANV-Sheckels have been removed from your account. Once you are done, click [OK] to save these settings".

It looks like they're either fucking with you on this, or there's something more to this MMO.

In any case... tell me... what was your ANV Character again?

Name:
Gender:
Species:
Starting Class (choose 1):

• Attack Based (Attack +, Tech -, Defense +)
  
• Tech Based (Attack +, Tech +, Defense -)
  
• Support Based (Attack -, Tech +, Defense +)
  

How this'll work out:

[Scept]

This sounds like it could go horribly, HORRIBLY wrong.
...
Count me in. I'll do the details later.

[Archer]

AHAHAHAHAHAA YES, WEBMASTER DA DOES IT ONCE AGAIN!

THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!

"Devil May Cry 4 gameplay with a hint of Wonderful 101 thanks to its co-op MMO roots"
"choice between stealth or pure action, an intuitive control scheme, copious fanservice"
"Kotaku gave it a "Don't play it", because it had way too many genders and that's offensive. IGN gave it a 10/10 stating that it was "Okay". The Siliconera staff praised it with flying colors for its over-the-top action. Famitsu gave it a 50/40 saying that they're sorry for being to lenient on their previous scores. Hideo Kojima attempted suicide after hearing that his dream game was already made, and stayed 2 weeks in a hospital bed. He's alright now."

You had me by the balls there.
Soooooo in.

OKAY LET'S DO THIS (how are we going to decide what's what, RNG?)

Name: Dente - El Exterminador de Demonios Dos
Gender: PRETTY LITTLE LOLI (I mean normally I'd say male, but everyone else is definitely going this option)
Species: I HAVE DECIDED



I WILL BECOME PILLAR LOLI

>STARTING CLASS
>ANYTHING BUT TECH BASED
>HAVING THE DMC4 COMBAT SYSTEM WITH HINTS OF WONDERFUL 101 AND BEING HIT LIKE A FILTHY CASUAL AND ACTUALLY WANTING TO SACRIFICE TECH  OR ATTACK IN TURN FOR DEFENSE

Tech is the most important thing in DMC. If you don't pick tech you're definitely doing it wrong.

[MrNaleIt]

I'll hop in, but I'll come up with shit later.

[Scept]

Alright fine.
Name: I'll get to it as soon as I think of something
Gender: Female. Because...
Species: Catgirl. THAT'S WHY. AHAHAHAHAHAHA-- *ahem*
Class: Gotta have support.

[Archer]

Gender: Female. Because...
Species: Catgirl. THAT'S WHY. AHAHAHAHAHAHA-- *ahem*
Class: Gotta have support.

Aw hell naw this don't fly


EDIT: Screw that actually, changing to Pillarloli

[Hunter Axel]

Okay start the game now. I want to see what happens with those two characters.

Just Alpar and Scept.

[Archer]

I thought we were all contributing to make this character?

EDIT: Btw I should mention defense is an absolute waste with RoyalGuard.

[Hunter Axel]

Pretty sure everyone makes a character and has some sort of action they can do for that branch in the story.

I could be wrong.

[character] means that every single player character in the RP will chose to do an action and all of these will be fulfilled. There will be a deadline to prevent any more decision posts to happen, so if you want in that part, be sure to post your command.

[Archer]

Seems like we're playing as one guy though.

This seems a lot more akin to one of those "the masses choose one action per step for this adventure" type threads.

But oh well, I guess wait for DA and see what happens.

[Tael]

hell
fucking
yes

[Cloak]

Careful.
This is how Homestuck got started.

[Leo E.]

Careful.
This is how Homestuck got started.

[DA]

Pretty sure everyone makes a character and has some sort of action they can do for that branch in the story.

I could be wrong.

Seems like we're playing as one guy though.

This seems a lot more akin to one of those "the masses choose one action per step for this adventure" type threads.

But oh well, I guess wait for DA and see what happens.

Both of you are right.
Alpar's guess comes in the form of the [roll] posts.
Axel's guess comes in the form of, as he correctly quoted me, [character] posts.

Also, I noticed that this forum comes pre-equiped with a Character Sheet system. brb, toying with that. Once I'm done with that, I'll start writing the story with these two thus far.

[Cloak]

As you can see, my character has already begun filling his own sheet out.

Name: Fluffles
Gender: Indeterminate (Presumed Gentleman)
Species: Mustache Sphere

Attack Based

[Leo E.]

Do I have to do anything, or can I just make a character?
...I like making characters.

[Dracojounin7]

Name: Jadaal
Gender: Male
Species: Human
Class: Support

[Caelun_Niveus]

Name: "Johnny"
Gender: "Male"
Species: God (Domain: Mooks on guard duty)
Class: Support

[Yoshi]

Name:Kit
Gender:Female (Cuse I can)
Species:Dragon fox
Class:Attack

[MrNaleIt]

Name: Truck
Gender: Male
Species: Ancient Shisa (this guy, but like 9-13 feet tall)
Class: Attack

[Tael]

Name: Ceasar
Gender: Male
Species: Avian
Class: Tech

[Zyquux]

Name: CRUSHSMASH THE SMASHCRUSHER (in all caps)
Gender: SMASHING
Species: SMASHCRUSHER
Starting Class (choose 1): SUPPORT (CRUSHSMASH SUPPORTS WITH ITS FIST)

[Gam]

Name: Pluto
Gender: Cold
Species: Not a planet
Name: Tumblr
Gender: There isn't a high enough character limit
Name: Monstergirl
Gender: Male
Species: Human

Name: Wibli
Gender: Wood
Species: Golem
Class: Attack

[DA]

Here's something I forgot to specify
[5:57:36 PM] Caelun_Niveus: And could my abilities be "bless line of sight" "Summon reinforcements" and "Announce Alarm"?
[5:59:22 PM] Simply DA: Abilities like those can be pulled off in [roll] posts, since it's more of a game of chance in roll posts, ANYTHING can be pulled off.
In [character] posts, you hafta use the abilities the story gives you.
[5:59:33 PM] Caelun_Niveus: k

By this, I mean that in [character] posts, you can only use what you have.
In [roll] posts, the sky's (not necessarily always) the limit! If you think you're able to do what you roll, then go for it! You can post
>blow up the moon
and if that gets rolled, it will happen! Think of it as Gameplay and Story Segregation. The power of plot armor is within you!

With that said, here comes the story post!

[DA]

You look at your fellow cubemates. For some reason they are all clicking away at spreadsheets instead of being in their character design screens. All except a guy who just arrived on the cube opposite of you. You turn around to see what he's doing, but you're immediatelly zapped by your own chair and are forced back to face your laptop.
"Alright! I can still be a catgi--AAAAUGH!" says your cube neighbor as he's also zapped by his chair. Guess he forgot he can't speak at all here.
You check if everything's correct. You decide to ditch your steampunk knight build and instead become a pillar loli. You hit OK, and from your Tammybook, something pops out. It seems like a floppy-disk thick... key card? It has "ANV Card No. 8675309" written on it, and under it, your ANV-ID. The screen immediately changes to a series of spreadsheets detailing everything you've spent, everything you hafta pay, and a couple of buttons on the far left. One of them says "Mine money". You click on it, and your total spendings go down by .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001. Guess this is gonna take a while... judging by your calculations, about 50 years worth of mining by mashing the mouse button. Below that button is another that says "Manual labor: Mantain server", and below that, another that reads "Manual labor: Tech support". You're not certain on what to click, so you you start deciding via pure, unadulterated RNG...
"...eenie, meanie, miney, moe" you start thinking as you hover above each button. But before you know it, the screen turns completely black, and a pop-up prompt appears. It reads "Your account spendings surpass 50 Trillion USD. You are now elligible for a new alpha test. Please pick up this laptop and your ANV Card. Stand up and turn around."
To not anger the Jarotammy gods, you comply to your computer's demmand. A couple of young adults soon do too. Suddenly, what seemed like a completely empty wall starts rising, revealing a long, dark tunnel with light coming out of it in the far end of it. A disembodied voice, coming from a comms speaker you can't seem to locate nor see starts talking.
*KSSSHK* "Alright. To those of you that have been summoned to do this, walk towards this tunnel. Your manual labor begins here. Instead of clicking away at spreadsheets, you have been enlisted on this new Alpha build of ANV. Bring your Tammybook and ANV Card with you, and secure them tightly with you. Do not lose either of these at all. You have been warned." *KSSSHK*
The wall finishes rising, and you, alongside many other young adults, proceed. You keep walking, and walking, and walking down this path. You notice that the path starts going uphill and wider... and you notice that there's more and more people joining in. Perhaps they're from other floors, and you've been walking all those floors uphill?
Surprisingly, not a single soul has said a word at all. Perhaps due to fear of being punished like they've been before.
You and everyone else reach the source of the light, which is a completely white illuminated wall.

...

...nothing seems to happen...
"Yo! What gives!? says one of the guys of the crowd
"What are we supposed to do?" another member says
the crowd starts getting agitated bit by bit, until a holographic screen, somehow, pops up in front of everyone's faces.
"Hi there! Welcome to the world of Dundria! I'm Tut, your guide!" reads the screen, with a tiny little mascot character on the bottom left corner.
You know this. This is the tutorial level they introduced in the 3rd major patch. You remember this because until patch 3.1, you had to do this damn tutorial every single time you logged in. You don't need this, so you tap on the [OK] button at the bottom right corner. You keep tapping and tapping and tapping, skipping over everything.
"To open your inventory--"
Seen it!
"To access the Techniques menu--"
Old!
"To retain your--"
I know!
"To activate your character in the field--"
I GET I--wait, was that in the actual tutorial? Eh, who cares.
"Let's look at the battle system!"
I know! I just spam cover based shooting on this easy tutorial fight!
"Now, let's get crackin'!"
SHUT UP!
You hit the [Turn off tutorial] button. It seems everyone else was also mindlessly skipping the tutorial and turning it off just like you. Once everyone reached the last screen, the wall started glowing brighter and brighter, to blindingly bright extremes, in fact. You close your eyes tightly, as you feel a strong gust of wind blow through you.

You open your eyes. What you see is somewhat shocking, yet highly predictable.

You seem to be inside the game's Tutorial Gardens! Where low-leveled enemies await and tooltips are always present (unless you turned off the tutorial). Is this the alpha build? A virtual reality version of ANV?
You hear the screams of agony of other people not in sight... something doesn't feel right.
All of a sudden, two Neo-Kobolds rush down on you! These guys are a piece of cake, specially in this tutorial level, so you're ready for action!


...but... where's your equipment? And your Tech Menu? And why are you not a pillar loli!?
One of the Neo-Kobolds strikes! It missed, as its laser blade barely grazed your head, chopping off a small tuft of it. What kind of VR is this!?
The Neo-Kobolds start rushing down on you! You quickly run as fast as you can away from them, but they don't seem to stop chasing you. As you look back to see how far they are, you stumble headfirst into another group of people, cornered by Neo-Kobolds as well. You notice that since there's about 9 other guys cowering in fear, there's 18 neo-kobolds around. Counting the 2 that are running up to you, that brings it up to 20 neo-kobolds!
You all have no idea how to use all the techniques your character has, let alone look like your character at all! It's like Dark Souls, but pathetic!

You are approached by 20 Lv. 1 Neo-Kobolds
All of you have:
-Your Tammybook
-Your ANV Card

[character] (this means that EVERYONE gets to act. Plot armor is deactivated).
Deadline: 3 hours (Thursday, January 9th at 12:10 AM Pacific)

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