Round 20 - LET'S DO THE TIMEWARP AGAIN!

Be more patient. The story updates take a while to write up.

I abstained every freaking day. Sure, that's fairly boring play, but I'm surprised that anybody thought I'm mafia...

Zink120 wrote:I abstained every freaking day. Sure, that's fairly boring play, but I'm surprised that anybody thought I'm mafia...

Ah, but lack of action is the most suspicious action of all.

every time you vote for abstain another feminist kickstarter is funded

Sceptilianblade wrote:Ah, but lack of action is the most suspicious action of all.

Actually, RNG voting is also pretty suspicious as well and was deemed even more detrimental to the town back on CoF.

Link Lab wrote:

Sceptilianblade wrote:Ah, but lack of action is the most suspicious action of all.

Actually, RNG voting is also pretty suspicious as well and was deemed even more detrimental to the town back on CoF.

I see...

"Alright everyone" said Rofl, the organizing cop, the burning is about to start. You got your results ready?"
"Yes" replied another one "We have three--"
"OH STOP IT WITH YOUR GOD DAMN TIES!!"
Just then, un-professional cop Stalin steps up.
"Comrades, we must not lose our grip on this." he says, as he activates some commands on his B.U.S. "Look, to stop this tie, I will vote for Comrade Zink right here"
Cloak, starts looking left and right, noticing something missing...
"Hey! Where's my B.U.S.!? ... And since when do YOU have a B.U.S.!?" said Cloak
"Calm down, man!" said Rofl "He probably just borrowed it for a while to cast his vo--oh!"
Rofl was started by his B.U.S., which now read "TRANSFERRING ELECTRON DATA. PLEASE WAIT"
"Wait! This is just a misunderstanding!" said Zink, who was being beamed into the alleged Terrorist's mind "Just because I have Silencing powers doesn't mean I'm evil!"
And with that, Zink's mind was beamed into the alleged terrorist's mind, as his former host collapsed to the ground, only to regain conciousness shortly after.
"Wha-where am I?" said Zink's former host
"Okay" said Rofl "I guess this should be it, isn't that ri--"
Rofl is interrupted by the agonizing screams of Zink, now on the alleged terrorist's body, who was now being burned alive.
The B.U.S. read "LIFE SIGNS: BURNING. APPROXIMATE TIME OF DEATH: T-15 SECONDS"
"...let's get out of here before his screams haunt my already tormented nights" said Rofl
"Yeah" said another cop "let's"
"How about no?" said Axel
"What? Why not?" said Rofl
"We're not sure if he's really going to die right here. I mean, he could escape from the stake, causing a time paradox. That could be dangerous to our timeline, no?"
"Look, the B.U.S. said that Zink will die in--oh. Would you look at that"
Rofl looks at his B.U.S., which now reads "LIFE SIGNS: NULL. STATUS OF ZINK: BURNINATED", as Rofl now shudders at the recent happenings.
"Let's just teleport to the next timeline" said Rofl
"Nah" said Axel, as he opens up his B.U.S.'s control panel "I like it here a lot"
He begins tapping some options
"Specially when you're stuck here for all eternity!" he said, as everyone else froze in place.
"Aaah, nothing like a good time-stopping to cool the brain. Now.
B.U.S.! sudo TES.jar!"
The holographic panel grows in size, and Axel begins pointing it at each alive member one by one.
"Firewaller... Hacker... Hacker... I should kill those two on my way out... Dead Target... sorry Zink... B.U.S. Manager... faulty B.U.S... Ah-hah! There we go. Status: Warping.
B.U.S., give me the destination of this warper"
The B.U.S. replies with "DESTINATION UNKOWN. IT HAS A STRONG DISTURBANCE SURROUNDING IT THAT PREVENTS ANALYSIS"
"Guess I should go check it out!"

With that, he changes the space-time coordinates on his B.U.S. to roughly match the ones on his target: Mentle.

"B.U.S... sudo -Restore"
Time is no longer stopped and everyone is beamed away.


MEANWHILE, BEHIND THE SCENES

Mentle gets beamed into his seat, facing his computer, inside a pocket dimension. The dimension's boundaries make it impossible for him to be affected by the time-changes surrounding him.
"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL CRAP!?" said Mentle "First, my teammates are missing, and now this guy stops time all of a sudden! And I still haven't got my Cola! Ugh..."
He then looks at the "Portal Coordinates" window, showing the last location the portal lead to.
"Strange... I don't remember inputting these coordinates... come to think of it, is this even a timeline?

...what if my teammates were kidnapped by something in that timeline!?"

He then proceeds to sit down for a bit and think deeply...

"...I think I got it. It's time to lock and load!"
He then proceeds to equip himself with all the arsenal he can find in the Pocket Dimension's closet.
A mop, a rake, a broom...


...a lightsaber, 2 uzis, a neuralizer, a sonic screwdriver, a box of hand grenades, a TF Industries self-building Sentry gun, 2 MRE's (wiki it)
and to finish everything off... 2 cans of Big Cola.

"WE HAD THESE HERE ALL ALONG!?"

He types in some commands on his PC, and then activates the portal.
"KINECT! Self-Destruct Sequence if varReturnTime greater than 20 minutes!"
His computer then reads "Commencing Self-Destruct Sequence in 20 minutes"
"Time to go rambo up in this bitch." says Mentle, as he jumps into the portal fully loaded.

MEANWHILE, SOMEPLACE ELSE

Mentle teleports into the scene.
"ALRIGHT YOU MOTHERFUCKING PEST!" shouted Mentle "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FRIENDS!?
AND WHERE ARE YOU!?"
Just then, a giant claw sliced the top of Mentle's head, exposing his brain.
"...huh. Should've seen that one coming" said Mentle as he collapsed to the ground with a very audible THUD.

BACK AT THE POCKET DIMENSION
Axel teleports into the Pocket Dimension's closet, crashing into all the other stuff in it.
"UGH! I hate it when approximate coordinates do this to me!" said Axel. He opens the door and finds 2 computers running.
"Oh! So this is the Editor's hardware and software..."
He then presses a button in a device he has on his ear, as he places a small device on the floor "Ambassador Axel to mission control. I've infiltrated the Editor Hideout. Placing beacon as we speak. Prepare for raid."
Just then, a squadron of Gamma Corp. troops teleports into the Pocket Dimension.
"Alright, men" said Axel "Make of this whatever you want and take it to Supreme Emperor Baas"
"Sir!" said one of the soldiers "There appears to be a self-destruct sequence that is about to begin in 10 minutes!"
"Lemme see that."
He connects his B.U.S. to it, and the Self-Destruct sequence is overridden.
"See? Simple as that"
His B.U.S. begins beeping, showcasing some coordinates in an alternate dimension of an alternate timeline
"Hm... why would the Editors teleport there? They have no business with the F'rkhaurq... unless they've been set up, explaining arth 17984's 1F6th timeline's demise...
...I NEED 3 MEN TO FOLLOW ME!"

BACK AT THAT OTHER PLACE

Axel and his men teleport into the scene.
"Alright men, it could be dangerous out here. Stay on your guard."
His squadron nods, as they slowly begin walking forward, pointing their guns forward.
Just then, a quick-sprinting Alien rushes and snatches one of the soldiers away.
Flustered, Axel lowers his gun and turns back to face his Squadron
"WHAT THE HECK DID I JUST SAY!?"
Then, from the ground up, 4 F'rkhaurq rise, surrounding them.
"Ẃ̦̳̱̯̠̟̦̞̖̠ͅȩ̵̵̧͇̖̖̖͠ ͠҉͏̱̰̯̝̪̗̹͈̟͚̺́a̡҉̸̧̗̥͉̻ͅŗ̶̵̞̝̤̫́͢è̷̥̰͉̩̠̻̬͕̦͈̟̭̗̪̘͓̣̘͚ ̴̡̫͍̺̪̳͜͝t̴̨̕͏̼̟̠͔̦̫͇̥̘̺̼̲̺̹̤͚̪ͅh͕͇̖͍̞̯̲̤̟̗͈̝̫͓̗̮͠é̢͙̟͍̝̙͡͞ ̸̙͕͉̬̗͇ͅF͏̵̢͍̣̬̥͙̭̦͓͔̪͎̫ͅ'̡͢҉̴͚̩̲͖͎̱͇̲̳̤̤̲͜r͕̬̪͚̼͠k̴̨̖̜̩̟̻͉̲͓̰͙h̸̴̘͎͙̝͓̥̞̣̣̘̲̫͓͔̗̳͚͔͜a͝҉̭̳̮̻͚̠̭̼̘̗͎̟͇u̯̼̯̠͇͔̩̟̮͚͚̱͟͝ͅr̡̛̝̪̰͇̠̝̖̟̙̮̤q͏͈̤̮̗̖̞̕͟.̶̵̷̯̞̳̼̩̞̟ ̸͙̘̦̼̳̹̼́̕͠Ṛ̸̵̡̬̜̻͡ͅe̷̴̴̟͕͚̯͕̝͖̜͔̩͚̞̟͍̺͍͜ͅş̶̱͉̯̝̩̞̦̗̤̼̣̳̳͙̣̯̩̭͠ͅi͢҉͚͚͕̳̗̪̹̣̘̟̟̺̳̲̼̞̪s̢̢̙͚̰͙͙̖̼̦͖ͅt̶̨̡̫̜͔̹̭̲̮̤͠a҉͙͙̦̣̱͈͔͕̻̕ņ̨̛͔̩̯͙̲̥̖̱̙̣̹̬̝́͢ͅç̜̙̼̝̹͙̥̰͠͞͝è͇͎̩̥̮̱̯̜͎̳͙̤͚͝ͅͅ ̶̨̱͚̰̦̩̹͓͚̝̝̥͎̯̹̟͕͇̀ͅi̛̥͓̘̹̬͟͢s̵̡̤̖̮̭͉͓̫͔̝̗̝̥̮ ͝҉̪̞̭͚͠f͟҉͢͏̘͇̗͖̺̭̤̬͓͇̜̦̥̜̗͚̟̣̣ṵ̝͇͚̜̘̝̕͡ṱ̴̸̡̛̟̩̲̫̠͕͕̙̪͚̗̲̼̞̬͘i̝̯͕̘͇͔̠̜͎̰̜̣̣͈̠̕̕l͝҉̙͉̤̖̻̣̳e̡͉͓̣̜̝̤̪̠͉͚̕͟͡.̷̧͕̼̼͇̞̟̻͠ ̢̖̗̰̤̕͡Y̶̮̭̹̪̠̝̥̞͔͈͢o̢͏̢̻̣̲͕͖̙̜͍̩ụ̵̶̙̩̜͎̙̱̥͓̪͔̩͇͔̠͜͜ ̸̲̞̠͖̦̤͔̦͈͜͠ͅw̮̯̗̻͍̭̣̹̭̩̣͈͖̣͡į̸̰̮̜͉̩͖̫͕̹ĺ͢͏̶͎͖̤̘͇̬̰͔̣̯̩̻̮̣̼̝͞l͏̨͖̬̣͎̟ ̙̻̹̩̪̥̣̝̰͕͓̼̙̟̩̀̕ḇ̨̰̩̺̞̼̪̭̀͘͢è̦̦̰͔̩́̕͟ ͓̫̮͚͉̺̲̩̥̖̗͉͎͉͙̟̰̥̳̀͠à͚͔̣͔̳͓̯̤̠͈͍̠͓̼̘̘̹͜ͅs̢͏̦̘̮̲̳̝͚̜͎̙͈͕ͅs͖̱̫͇͘̕͢͠͡i̵̵̡̛̛̪̯̟͇̦̘͉̩̟̣m̶̷̥̙̩͍̙͕̫̣͓̣̹̘̮̥͙͙̲̻̼͝i̴̞̮͙̫̙͟l̸̢̛͟͏̰͚̫̜̝̫͕̘̳̞̹̖̦͍̻͎̝̳ą͠͏̭͙̻͔̝͕̖̩̪̙̹͓̝ͅͅt̡̯̝͕̳̳̝̻͈͙͎͉̫͟e̡̢̧̹̩͇̞̱͠͡d҉̵̧̡̟̰͚͇̠̜͔̭̰̞̪̲̯͈̘̠́.̴̵̵̶̮̗̹̦̙̘̳͓͇̱̜́" said the 4 aliens in unison
"See, this is why you should always bring both a translator and a time stopper" said Axel, as he presses a button on his B.U.S.
Time suddenly stops, yet the aliens keep talking, albeit more clear each time
"Ẃ̦̳̱̯̠̟̦̞̖̠ͅȩ̵̵̧͇̖̖̖͠ ͠҉͏̱̰̯̝̪̗̹͈̟͚̺́a̡҉̸̧̗̥͉̻ͅŗ̶̵̞̝̤̫́͢è̷̥̰͉̩̠̻̬͕̦͈̟̭̗̪̘͓̣̘͚--W̝̮͎̻̣̜ḛ̴͉̠̩ͅ ͏͈̩̦a̧̘̩̹̱̘͈͕re̯--We are--OH DESIAH!"
"...I hate the F'rkhaurq accent SO MUCH..." said Axel
"HERRO? WHAT BRING YA TO DA F'RKHAURQ LAND, EH?" said the now-translated F'rkhaurq leader
"Oh, I'unno.. shopping.. visiting some relatives, TALK ABOUT THE INVASION OF OUR TIMELINE! And apparently the editors too."
"OH! YOU AH TURYIN TO KNO, NO? WE F'RKHAURQ, WE MAKU DEAR WITH DE EDITAS SO WE TRAVERU TO TIME-RINE OF YO DEMISE, YES"
"But what for?"
"FOR UNECESSARI CONTRORU OF TIME-RINE!"
"What?! Prove it! Gamma Corp. is here only to serve for the good of all of us in the past, present and future!"
"THEN WHY YOU TIME-STOPPU US WHEN TIME-STOPPU ROUTINES ARE IRREGARU?"
...



...




...



"..CUT HIS CLAW, MEN!" ordered Axel, as they decided to cut his claw, then kill them all
"Ambassador Axel to Mission Control, we are in possesion of Enemy DNA. They also took care of the editors in the process. Continuing mission New Timeline X23"
"Goood" said someone on the other side of the conversation "Now everyone will remember why Gamma Corp. rules time and space with an iron hand, right here in fabulous Victory City!"
"Is your pocket dimension ready, sir?"
"I'm sitting on it right now! Ahahahahahahah!"
"Understood. Beginning Timeline Creation, extintion of the Editors and F'rkhaurq"

With that call, Axel teleported to the pocket dimension where Supreme Emperor Baas resided. Time was being reshaped to the will and way of the Gamma Corp. bigwigs...


...this wasn't the first time it happened, though. Last timeline was also a Gamma Corp. force-regulated timeline...

...and with that, time was being reshaped entirely...






A movie is being shown to a mass of people. It's almost ending.

"...and in such situations, your only option is to pray that the next leap is the leap home. So don't forget to adjust the quantum accelerator before you do your leap! Remember to always have your digital copy of The Time Cop's Guide to Time Travel when in doubt. And if you're still clueless, you can order a DRM free copy of 'Time Traveling and You: The basic steps and the Grandfather Paradox' from our iTunes page. Remember! The space-time continuum is in your hands. You, brave time cop. Let life continue with the course of Earth 17985's 132nd timeline!"
A vignette saying "THE END" is then displayed, followed by some quickly scrolling text on the bottom that said
"Warning: Misuse of the Quantum Accelerator may cause even more problems than the 87194532 problems we already mentioned. We are using Earth 17984's 1F6th timeline because that is the only timeline regulated by the pentadimensional beings of Planet K, who take care of our space-time relation. Gamma Corp. will not make itself responsible for any and all time travel accidents that affect your well being nor the ones that affect Earth 17985's 132nd timeline's course. In the event that you wipe out Gamma Corp. due to you misusing your time travel license, the Time Chip that was implanted on you will activate, erasing you from the timeline you put us all into while trying to use your heritage to find the quickest time-route to redirect the current timeline to one where Gamma Corp. exists. Any other misuse of your Time Cop powers that were not previously mentioned will result in your immediate removal from this timeline. Remember, don't do drugs!"
The movie ends, as the room's lights turn on and Phoenix, wearing his usual Admiral's attire steps into the podium.
"So you see, trainees? That's why you shouldn't fuck up when going into the wild that is the timey wimey ball that is REAL! QUANTUM! TIME-TRAVEL TELEPORTATION!"
Meanwhile, behind the "classroom", Axel and Supreme Emperor Baas watch the class unfold.
"I love how they still believe that Pentadimensional Being bullshit, your excellency" said Axel
"Ambassador, I am forever grateful of this fix of the timeline." said Emperor Baas "This guy was THIS CLOSE to exposing the secrets of Gamma Corp. to the world"
"Speaking of, sir, who was this guy?"
"Hm?"
"The one that was about to reveal the secrets of Gamma Corp.?"
"Oh, the one who is called by the peasants of this world 'The Nameless Hero'"
"You mean Rofl?"
"Rofl was just a pseudonym. His real name was Abstain"
"That doesn't sound like an actual name, your excellency"
"You're telling that to a Space-Time emperor named Nale, of all things! Ahahahahahah!"
"Hahahahahah!"
The two end up laughing the night away.


Good job, guys, you've let Axel win by RNG screw.

Dafuk?
Humiliation.
Axel, gg I guess... :-/

...
...
Huh?

Seriously can't believe the odds of what went on in this round.

Even with that much luck on our side, we still weren't as lucky as Axel.

Well, I can't be sure until we get all the roles, but with the info I got for now I'd say...I'm pretty disappointed with the balance of this round, even if my expectations are always high for DA games.

I'm curious about the night decisions.

Role Reveal Time!

First off: The Aliens weren't exactly a cult, they were a second mafia with a hint of cult: They could only recruit mafia members.

THE HEROES
Rofl

Spoiler:

Axel

Spoiler:

You already know Zyq and Phoenix's roles

Zink

Spoiler:

Cloak

Spoiler:

Stalin and Spp

Spoiler:

Nyu

Spoiler:

Scept

Spoiler:

Draco

Spoiler:

THE VILLAINS
Ment

Spoiler:

Nanon

Spoiler:

Link

Spoiler:

THE GUY WHO CAUSED CONTROVERSY AND FUCKED UP THE MAFIA BIG TIME
Vat

Spoiler:

3rd party on a 2win streak
whoulda thunk it?

NIGHT ACTIONS
-NIGHT 1- HE COMES
Scept: Roleblock spp
Cloak: Bus Drive Vat and Nanon
Draco: (Had the power of JFK's Wife. Had Doctor abilities) Protect Stalin
Vat: Stun Link (BRAINWASHED!)
MAFIA: Kill Draco with Link (COCKBLOCKED! Link is now an Alien)

-NIGHT 2- The Day the Mafia Couldn't Do Jack Shit.
Scept: Roleblock Ment
Cloak: Swap Zyq and Nanon (ZYQ IS DEAD)
Vat: Kill Nanon (HIJACK!)
Mafia: Kill Rofl with Nanon (COCKBLOCKED AND ROLEBLOCKED!)

-NIGHT 3?- Saved for Story-related crap. Also, it was pretty hilarious.
Scept: Roleblock Rofl
Cloak: Swap Stalin and Rofl (BUS DRIVING STOLEN BY STALIN!)
Draco: (Had the power of Sir Fox Mulder, Knight of the Royal Guard) Investigate Cloak's alignment (INNOCENT), actions of Spp (Steals the Bus Driver's Ability)
Vat: Kill Spp
Mafiantlegen: Kill Vat (WELP)
Axel: Finish the Fight

I KNEW IT.
I KNEW MENT WAS MAFIA.

Well congrats to Axel on winning "Da Fuq Mafia" TOUHOU MAFIA TIME!

Sceptilianblade wrote:I KNEW IT.
I KNEW MENT WAS MAFIA.

Was it because the night you roleblocked me there was no night kills? That night it was actually Vat who blocked the kill.

Anyway, at least Vat could only convert mafiosos...unfortunately, Nanon of all people was in mafia and Vat got Link on the first night, blocking the kill in the process. Kind of sad that he had night kill immunity when I was able to guess he was the Cult Leader, not that this would change the outcome.

To be frank, I still don't like the balance in this game, and I really don't think roles based on trust are a good idea. I know in every game anyone could copypaste their PM and send to someone else behind the host's back, but in that case anyone receiving the PM would have to trust that the role description was really made by the host, and isn't being tricked while breaking the rules, but if Link wanted he could tell Vat the name of his ex-partners and Vat wouldn't even need luck to crush our hopes and dreams. Not only that but getting the aliens killed during the day would make it obvious who the mafiosos were...so really, the mafia was pretty much screwed when Vat got Link. Finally, although DA was clever enough to limit the powers of the Lyncher, I think that with our history of RNG loving players and how people who jump on bandwagons never seen to bring suspicion on themselves, that role isn't a good idea for our games.

Regardless, well played Axel. You cleverly doomed humanity to the manipulation of Emperor Nale.

.....
THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED.

To Axel

EDIT: Ah fuck, embedding disabled.

Is this the fastest round yet?

So much luck for Axel. All three people lynched were his targets and the first two were the result of RNG shenanigans. I don't even.

Well played...well played...

This round from my point of view:

DA: "KILL BLOCKED, YOU LOST A PARTNER WHO WORKS AGAINST YOU NOW"
"Well, at least I got Na-"
DA: "HE'S GONE, JIM. NO KILLS."
"Maybe the cult leader is Zink or Vat..."
DA: "It was Vat."
":D"
DA: "WITH MOTHERFUCKING PARANOID CULT OWNER POWEEEEEEEERS!"
Axel: "I don't give a fuck."

I honestly had no idea whether I'd be able to pull this off at the start when DA gave me my role. Zyq seemed easy to lynch when the time would come but Zink seemed much harder, meanwhile Phoenix was average.

Luck was just on my side I guess since I managed to stay alive, lynch all my targets, and do it all in three days. That said, I'm probably never going to win another mafia round for a long time after this.

Mentle wrote:Axel: "I don't give a fuck."

Roflcopter419 wrote:

Hunter Axel wrote:I know! Next time, let's all vote for abstain. Chances are if we all vote for him, he'll finally die.

I swear if you do that I'll personally destroy you.

Suddenly this conversation made a lot more sense after roles were revealed. Best part was that abstain really would have died this round if we had gone along with my joke.